Welcome to September, witches! Look for your sun sign in the list below to find your message for the month from the Welcome to Nightvale tarot deck! I’ve also included a recommended episode for each card/sign, which you can find on the Spotify playlist at the end of the post. Not a Nightvale fan? That’s ok, just look up your card in your favourite book or on a website like Biddy tarot for a more… conventional reading.
VIRGO ♍ AUGUST 23 – SEPTEMBER 22
10 of pentacles
Celebrate your success won by hard work, determination, and a strong foundation. Spend time with your family and reach out to your ancestors to help you manifest you dreams. Before it’s too late.
Beware of propensities to overspend or thinking about the crushing reality of debt.
LIBRA ♎ SEPTEMBER 23 – OCTOBER 22
king of cups
Your intuition shows you the way the world works, even if everyone else doesn’t see it. Be patient with them, be compassionate. Show them the way.
but stay… balanced, Libra. Don’t scare anyone. You can’t force them to see things your way! You don’t know everything! No you don’t!
SCORPIO ♏ OCTOBER 23 – NOVEMBER 21
6 of swords
This month you will approach the unknown, leaving behind things you once found comfortable and familiar. The change is good! You will be better. You will. be. better. Let go.
Don’t resist the change. Let go of your baggage. Just drop it out the side. Let it go. Let it go. Let it g-
SAGITTARIUS ♐ NOVEMBER 22 – DECEMBER 21
9 of swords
You’ll need your strength and support system this month. You could find yourself ruminating over memories and fears that may or may not actually be real. You could find yourself ruminating over the fact that you may or may not be real.
Your fears aren’t real. Your dreams are. Go to sleep. Please.
CAPRICORN ♑ DECEMBER 22 – JANUARY 19
7 of wands
You’ve made it this far, and fought a hard battle, but the war isn’t over. Some strange beings, definitely not angels, may try and take what you’ve worked for, but you have ways of protecting yourself. Use them now. Be ready to make more moves in the future.
Beware of trolls. Seriously.
AQUARIUS ♒ JANUARY 20 – FEBRUARY 18
9 of cups
This will be your month! You’ll feel like your dreams are coming true, both literally and figuratively. It’s a time of heightened intuition and psychic dreams, as well as heightened abundance and grateful dreams. Share it with those you love, even if you can’t do so in person.
As Herman Melville once said: the things you own end up owning you. Beware.
PISCES ♓ FEBRUARY 19 – MARCH 20
page of wands
I know you like to go with the flow, Pisces, but this is the month to come up with ideas to shake things up! Look around and see where you could make some renovations… some upgrades. Maybe this room could use more art depicting human teeth? A little more blood and viscera strewn about? Have fun with it. The only limits are your imagination and that pesky reality. Can’t stop you from dreaming!
ARIES ♈ MARCH 21 – APRIL 19
queen of cups
You may feel a little out of your element this month, Aries! This month you’ll need to tap into that vast ocean inside yourself and connect with your emotional sea monster, instead of that regular monster. You know the one. Swaddle that little tentacled baby in love and kindness this month, and let everyone else worry about their own monsters for once.
TAURUS ♉ APRIL 20 – MAY 20
If you find yourself wandering a vast desert otherworld this month, call on your reserves of inner strength and the will to persevere. The obstacles you will face will not be coming from outside of you, but from within. I don’t even know how they got in there, but don’t let them out! Stay strong!
Don’t doubt yourself! You’re the only thing here that’s real…
GEMINI ♊ MAY 21 – JUNE 20
Well aren’t you the perfect little Gemini, with these perfectly pleasant though different energies swirling inside you? This month a sandstorm may rage around you, but you’ve no need to panic because you’re a GEMINI. Keep that big toothy smile on your face, grab hold of that sand and of yourself – no the other one – and create a brand new metropolitan area, so to speak. You’ve both got this!
CANCER ♋ JUNE 21 – JULY 22
I’m sure YOU know that you’re a beautiful, sensual, powerful being who can create whatever reality you choose. Oh you didn’t? Well. Odd. You should have gotten the memo?
Though, as the mayor you shouldn’t need to be told! Just look around at all you’ve built, all you’ve created, all you’ve conjured from the blackness of the void! It’s beautiful! Enjoy it! You earned it! ENJOY. IT. NOW.
LEO ♌ JULY 32 – AUGUST 22
7 of pentacles
You’ve been working so hard on your crops this year, dear Leo, and though you expected to have some sweet and juicy oranges to eat and sell by now, you’ll have to wait a little longer to share the fruits of your labour with others. Take some time to walk around your orange grove and inspect your work – check the soil, the air, the water, the blood fertilizer irrigation system. Don’t give up just yet! Watch your spooky garden GROW.